you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
