wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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