according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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