I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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