Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando