it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!