Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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