I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
