It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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