Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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