if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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