whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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