i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize