The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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