we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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