I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
They have beer where we have blood.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
