If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize