she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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