I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
