i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
