Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
