Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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