sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
