he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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