explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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