Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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