It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
