Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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