Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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