we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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