How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
