is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
