Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
