You really coming over, don't trick.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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