I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize