i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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