Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
