Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i love accidental penises.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
