wat bout pragnant strippers??
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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