Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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