I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
