I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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