What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
