Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize