I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
