So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
