She said her name was "party"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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