dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
