My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
