u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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