i just google imaged poop.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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