Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
