is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
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