dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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