I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
