sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
