this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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