I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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