once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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