dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
