having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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