Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize