Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
