you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize